Imagine waking up in a parallel universe where astrology is flipped on its cosmic head. Instead of the usual Aries, Taurus, and Gemini, there are signs like “The Procrastinator,” “The Walking Red Flag,” or “The Perpetually Confused.” Chaos? Absolutely. But let’s dive into what the zodiac might look like in alternate dimensions.
Earth-617: The Emotionally Advanced Zodiac
- The Overthinker (March 21 – April 19) – Spends hours analyzing every text message before responding with “K.”
- The Ghoster (April 20 – May 20) – Disappears mid-conversation but still watches Insta stories.
- The Soft Villain (May 21 – June 20) – Looks like the hero, acts like the antagonist, blames it on the “character arc.”
Earth-420: The
- The Meme Lord (June 21 – July 22) – Communicates exclusively in memes, even during emotional breakdowns.
- The Drama Magnet (July 23 – August 22) – Doesn’t look for drama; drama finds them like a heat-seeking missile.
- The Last-Minute Genius (August 23 – September 22) – Procrastinates until the final hour, then delivers pure brilliance.
Earth-999: The Productivity Zodiac
- The Spreadsheet Enthusiast (September 23 – October 22) – Has a five-year plan and a color-coded budget tracker for fun.
- The Hustle Machine (October 23 – November 21) – Sleep? Never heard of it. Believes in grinding till success collapses from exhaustion.
- The Passive-Aggressive Visionary (November 22 – December 21) – Encourages others with “friendly” insults like, “Wow, you’re trying?”
Earth-X: The Ultimate Wildcard Zodiac
- The Socially Exhausted (December 22 – January 19) – Wants to make plans, but also wants to cancel them the second they’re confirmed.
- The Conspiracy Theorist (January 20 – February 18) – Convinced the moon landing was faked but won’t explain why.
- The Accidental Cult Leader (February 19 – March 20) – Starts a book club; somehow ends up leading a movement.
Final Takeaway
In a parallel universe, astrology might be less about planets and more about energy levels, texting habits, and who actually answers phone calls. One thing’s for sure—no matter the universe, people will still blame their problems on Mercury retrograde.
Discover everything about astrology at the Times of India, including daily horoscopes for Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces.
